Sittin’ up with the dead

 By Steve A. Maze
     Arab, Alabama

    Regardless of how much we prepare both emotionally, it is always difficult to let go of a loved one who passes away. This situation is hardly new. Letting go of a loved one has been with us since the beginning of time, but funeral arrangements are another matter. In fact, funerals and other customs associated with the passing of a loved one were far different in years past than they are today.
  Most people now employee the services of a funeral home to handle the final arrangements when a loved one passes on. The funeral home picks up the deceased in a hearse and prepares the body for burial.
  Friends and loved ones pay their respects and view the remains inside the funeral home chapel, where most funeral services are now held. The deceased is then driven to the cemetery where the body is interred in a grave that has been dug with a backhoe.
  Funeral homes were rare in our rural area during the pre-1940s, however, and most funeral arrangements were handled by family and friends.
 

“For Whom the Bell Tolls”

  When a neighbor passed away, community members would fan out across the area and start the following chain of events. The church bell would be rung to announce the death; someone would be contacted to make a coffin; relatives who lived out of the area would be notified of the death; and the body would be “laid out.”
  Not only would the bell be rung to let people in the community know that someone had died, but also as a signal for men to head to the cemetery to help dig the grave with a pick and shovel. People toiling in the fields would quit working out of respect to the family of the deceased.
  The burial normally took place the following day unless the family was waiting on out of town relatives to arrive. The quick burials were imperative since most of the bodies were not embalmed at the time.
  Family members and friends of the deceased would begin preparing the body as soon as the person passed away, even if the death had happened during the night. It was important to “lay out” the body before rigor mortis set in.
  A nickel would be laid on each eyelid of people who had died with their eyes open. Pennies were not used, because the copper would turn the eyelids a green tint.   Women would wash and clean the female bodies, and make sure that the lady’s hair was fixed properly. Women were buried in the best clothes they owned, usually a dress that they had made months or years in advance for their own funeral.
  Men would “lay out” the male bodies. This included cutting the hair of the deceased as well as shaving him. Most men would normally be buried in a suit or overalls, but always in a white shirt.  
  Grandpa was a coffin-maker and kept some poplar, or what he called “first-class” pine lumber stored in the barn loft to keep it dry in the event someone died. He would normally call on two or three men in the community to help with the construction.     The standard coffin was six-foot long, but could be built to accommodate the height of any person. Grandpa usually added a few strokes with a plane or sandpaper to give the lumber a smooth finish.
  The corpse would be measured before the construction of the coffin began. The bottom and sides of the casket were built first. The corpse was then placed inside to ensure a proper fit. If the coffin needed to be lengthened or widened, the corpse was removed. After the adjustments were made, the body was once again placed inside and the top of the coffin added.
  The casket would be lined with a rayon-type cloth and a regular pillow placed inside. The coffin handles were normally made of brass, but if that material wasn’t available, they would be fashioned from rope.
  Some families took photos of the deceased in their coffin. This was not a morbid act, but an attempt to prolong the memory of a loved one. Most of these photos had to be taken outdoors since most family cameras of the day were not equipped with a flash.

 

The Wake

  Upon completion, the coffin would be carried to the home of the deceased where the wake would take place. Men from the community would then carry the heavy coffin up the steps to the largest room in the house – usually a combination living room/bedroom. Many times the bed would have to be taken down to make room for the wooden casket. A sheet would be thrown across a table or sawhorses for the coffin to rest upon, and a veil made of sheer cloth was placed over it to keep flies off the body.
  Family members were the first to view the body. Friends and neighbors would then come up one at a time, or in pairs, to view the remains. Some southerners referred to the body as “layin’ a’corpse” during the wake.
  Although it varied from family to family, a favorite photo was sometimes placed inside the coffin and buried with the deceased. Most often the photo was of family members, but I remember a man who once requested that a photo of his beloved hunting dog be buried with him. Others preferred to be buried with a can of their favorite snuff clutched firmly in their hand.
  Viewing the body could be a frightening experience for children walking into a dimly lit room. They would hang onto their mom’s dress or dad’s pants leg as the flickering light from a kerosene lamp cast spooky shadows near the coffin. Parents would lift up their wide-eyed young’uns to peer at the chalky-looking corpse lying in the casket. The youngsters would make a hasty exit from the room as soon as the “viewing” had ended.

 

Taking up a collection

  People would go out into the neighborhood and make up a little money for a community wreath to go on the coffin. Neighbors and relatives would bring food into the home of the deceased. Ladies would bring their finest chicken and dressing made from a fat hen, or a pot of dried beans and a pone of crackling cornbread. Others prepared fresh vegetables if they were in season, as well as homemade cakes and pies.
  Both men and women shared hugs and tears with the surviving members of the
family while offering words of comfort. The women would eventually drift off to the kitchen, but the men usually gathered on the porch to talk and smoke.
  A small group of people would stay all night with the family and sit up with the body in shifts. This was done out of respect to the family and to ensure that they were not left alone during their time of bereavement. The sitters would keep the fire going in the fireplace if it was cold weather, make sure the coffee pot was full, or be a comforting shoulder to cry on.
  A favorite way for the sitters to pass the time on those long nights would be to tell of their past experiences with the deceased, especially if their stories were funny.
  At times there would only be two sitters. If one of them fell asleep, it would be a dull night for the person who remained awake. They would be left to trace and retrace the patterns in the pine walls and tongue and groove ceiling with their eyes as the wind-up clock on the mantle slowly ticked away the hours.
   The preacher would come to the home of the deceased on the day of the funeral and say a prayer before the body was moved to the church. The pallbearers would carry the coffin from the house and place it in a wagon, or in one of the few automobiles that were available at the time. Dark-clothed mourners would then follow the funeral procession to the church.
 

“Precious Memories”

  The coffin would be placed at the church altar, but remain closed during the first part of the funeral service. The preacher would say a few words about the deceased and read scripture from a Bible. A soloist or a group of friends would sing a verse or two of “Precious Memories.” After a word of prayer, the coffin would be opened for neighbors and friends to view the deceased for the final time. Family members would be the last people to view the body at the church service.
  Another prayer would be said after the procession made its way to the adjoining cemetery. The coffin was then lowered into the grave and covered by the same men who had dug it. When the service was over, neighbors would go home with the family members for a day or two.
  A few days later, family members or neighbors would make some type of marker for the grave. These were mostly simple wooden markers, but some were made from smooth rock. The name of the deceased would be scratched on the wooden marker or chiseled into the stone.
  The people in the community continued to look in on the family of the deceased long after the funeral, especially if it involved a widow with small children. Neighbors would do various chores for them, such as planting and harvesting crops.
  These kind deeds were never forgotten.
  Upon reaching adulthood, the children of the deceased would often return the favor whenever their neighbors were in need. They would help in the fields, chop wood, watch after the sick and do other chores that needed to be done.
  And, of course, when one of their neighbors passed away, they would help lay out the body and sit up with the dead.